broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
