Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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