the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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