there was a trapeze. enough said
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
