So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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