after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
