I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
