i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
