I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
