Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
