I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
