I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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