I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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