i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
