i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I love you. Go after that dick
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
