Taylor Swift is so right about you.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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