Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
