her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
