New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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