wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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