wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
