things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I said "one day" and that day is not today
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
