yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize