I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
