it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
