Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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