Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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