thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
