i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm both gender and math confused
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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