I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My ass is underappreciated
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
