We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo