Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks

  (917): View more from New York City

  this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed

  (917): View more from New York City

  he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?

  (718): View more from New York

  messed up. what color are the wings?

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  (917): last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks (917): this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed (917): he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF? (718): messed up. what color are the wings? http://tfl.nu/7ui0
  Replies (11) Good night (2365) Bad night (716)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking

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  (973): i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking http://tfl.nu/emks
  Replies (23) Good night (602) Bad night (2550)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.

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  (989): I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS. http://tfl.nu/9dm1
  Replies (27) Good night (8890) Bad night (1102)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.

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  (814): i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit. http://tfl.nu/riqs
  Replies (72) Good night (4704) Bad night (1088)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it

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  (402): you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it http://tfl.nu/0kqo
  Replies (11) Good night (4200) Bad night (1721)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.

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  (612): ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good. (763): haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/7v2j
  Replies (41) Good night (1442) Bad night (3355)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho

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  (314): Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho http://tfl.nu/t3tj
  Replies (11) Good night (3994) Bad night (1339)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."

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  (832): We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College." http://tfl.nu/3hlg
  Replies (11) Good night (8430) Bad night (1182)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious

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  (219): My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious http://tfl.nu/6jx4
  Replies (10) Good night (3876) Bad night (1082)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just arrived at our party

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  (708): Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis (773): Just arrived at our party http://tfl.nu/7hao
  Replies (18) Good night (3922) Bad night (884)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling

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  (231): The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling http://tfl.nu/mo9w
  Replies (8) Good night (1510) Bad night (925)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life

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  (330): I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life http://tfl.nu/2qsb
  Replies (2) Good night (1038) Bad night (522)
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  (+45): View more from Denmark

  Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!

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  (+45): Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad! http://tfl.nu/8427
  Replies (2) Good night (885) Bad night (411)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.

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  (218): last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat. http://tfl.nu/thb6
  Replies (0) Good night (393) Bad night (349)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband

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  (406): Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband http://tfl.nu/ysmf
  Replies (4) Good night (1332) Bad night (205)

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