You can't motorboat a personality
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
