Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(404): View more from Georgia

FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night

(1-404): View more from Georgia

haha good one..how did you even know?

(404): View more from Georgia

we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(404): FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night (1-404): haha good one..how did you even know? (404): we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck. http://tfl.nu/dmh7

Replies (46) Good night (5200) Bad night (1460)
Favorite
(250): View more from British Columbia

even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(250): even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real. http://tfl.nu/de62

Replies (29) Good night (4992) Bad night (577)
Favorite
(732): View more from New Jersey

everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(732): everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications http://tfl.nu/d1qr

Replies (21) Good night (7448) Bad night (781)
Favorite
(781): View more from Massachusetts

im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(781): im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose http://tfl.nu/q51l

Replies (51) Good night (1765) Bad night (6550)
Favorite
(+64): View more from New Zealand

And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+64): And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical. http://tfl.nu/yu5v

Replies (23) Good night (5703) Bad night (1482)
Favorite
(781): View more from Massachusetts

Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(781): Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person. http://tfl.nu/31bd

Replies (3) Good night (2681) Bad night (1380)
Favorite
(636): View more from Missouri

Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(636): Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time. http://tfl.nu/mfto

Replies (6) Good night (2411) Bad night (1361)
Favorite
(440): View more from Ohio

i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(440): i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court. http://tfl.nu/yjxx

Replies (13) Good night (3172) Bad night (947)
Favorite
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(717): Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward. http://tfl.nu/kv4q

Replies (3) Good night (596) Bad night (330)
Favorite
(425): View more from Washington

What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(425): What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship? http://tfl.nu/30k4

Replies (5) Good night (575) Bad night (307)
Favorite
(504): View more from Louisiana

Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.

(985): View more from Louisiana

Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(504): Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls. (985): Do it. DO IT. There can be only one. http://tfl.nu/899w

Replies (3) Good night (1158) Bad night (320)
Favorite
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(570): I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink http://tfl.nu/cef5

Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (261)
Favorite
(541): View more from Oregon

Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(541): Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god. http://tfl.nu/ma7j

Replies (0) Good night (289) Bad night (497)
Favorite
(919): View more from North Carolina

how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?

(910): View more from North Carolina

you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(919): how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic? (910): you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment. http://tfl.nu/ekr6

Replies (3) Good night (618) Bad night (416)
Favorite
(603): View more from New Hampshire

Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(603): Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots http://tfl.nu/uh22

Replies (4) Good night (355) Bad night (237)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: