the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
