end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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