just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just had sex bonerless
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
