I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
