yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
