I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
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You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
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Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize