I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
