Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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