once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
