hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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