My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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