he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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