May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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