So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
