Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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