So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
