I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Dick very happy bro
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
