i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
