oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
