Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
