i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
