and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
