I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
please don't ironically join a cult
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