you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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