I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
