I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
