i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
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Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
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Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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