Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
