Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
how drunk are you?
Several
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
