You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
