I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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