i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
