A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
