I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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