His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
