just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
don't judge my taste in strippers
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
