Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
