her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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